Sex on the first date: what is with this insane manic urge? What ever happened to respect and patience? It's time to slow things down, and take the time to romance your special lady before rushing into her panties.

Gentlemen, this article is mainly for you. Imagine this: you go out with the guys and meet a really fantastic girl. You chat with her for a bit, and manage to charm her enough so that she gives you her number. You go home with a happy feeling because this one has something special about her. Of course you don't wait 3 days to call her because that's a stupid rule made up by some player guy - no offense. You call the next day and ask her out. You make a date and take her to a restaurant with delicious food. You talk all night about life, adventures and hobbies. Even a few dreams and goals are exposed. She makes you feel different, and you seem to like her. Being a perfect gentleman, you pay for the dinner - especially on the first date, help her with her coat, and open the door for her to exit the restaurant. 

The night is still young, so you offer to go to a bar to prolong the fantastic date, because you don't want to let her get away just yet. You have a few drinks, and see that you both understand each other. But even more exciting than the mental connection, is the physical one. You notice her luscious lips and bright eyes. She's telling you a story, while seductively moving her hair to the side, showing the perfect spot of exposed skin for you to kiss and bite on. You feel your pants are getting tighter. You look down at her blouse and notice the top part of her cleavage staring back at you. You envision those beautiful breasts in your hands and her hard nipples in your mouth. You can’t handle these wild thoughts anymore, and you lean over to kiss her. Her lips are soft, and you imagine what her other lips would feel like on your tongue. You ask if she wants to leave the bar and go somewhere more private, like her place.

MISTAKE. What is it with you men trying to score on the first date? If not the first, then definitely the second date. I get letters from so many women complaining that the dates start out so wonderfully, until after a few drinks when the guys try to drag them to their place to have sex. Men, what is the matter? What is the intense rush to kiss, make out or have sex right away? I’m old-fashioned, but maybe I have missed something on the news? Is World War III coming, and I haven’t heard anything about it at all? If there is no war, then what else can explain this mad hustle to get into her panties? Yes you feel the passion, and yes you want to have an Earth-shattering, backward-eyeball-rolling orgasm, but gentlemen, you are on the first date here! Please try to keep that eager curious penis in his pants where he belongs in the beginning. If the penis is so difficult to control, then come home and stroke your friend to sleep, but please tame him in front of your new lady.

Ladies, of course if you are looking for a hot night with a hot man, then this would be irrelevant. However, if you are looking to find a relationship and love, I would advise you to wait before jumping into the bed, onto the kitchen floor, on your carpet or shower with the guy. There is enough time for that later on. Get to know him first, and find out who he really is (read last week’s article). A little hint, if a man doesn’t want to wait a while for you, then he is only after the sex.

Gentlemen, if you are only after sex, then you better tell her that at the very beginning. Maybe she wants the same thing as well. But knowing women quite well, I can tell you that most of us are usually in it for the real deal – the love, best friends, matching sweaters, and that kind of nice cheesy thing. So please do not hurt her, and clear this out first. If you are also looking for love and a relationship, then that’s an even better reason to wait. Show that you respect and value her, and are interested to get to know who she is, how she thinks, what she does, and how she feels. Wake up and smell the coffee, or at least her perfume. She took the time to get ready and make herself look beautiful for you, so admire and appreciate that, instead of ruining that special feeling and those nice new clothes. From personal experience the longer you wait, the better you get to know each other, and the more trust and passion will grow. Then when you finally have her, you will feel how amazing it is to make love to a woman that you really admire and respect. Believe me, it’s worth the wait!

Honestly, in this world of faster than fast, where everything should have already happened yesterday, we have to slow things down. I was speaking to my 90-year-old grandmother last night, and she told me about this thing called “Romance”. She said it was something that was very common back in the days when she was my age. She said that when a gentleman would court his special lady for a few months, he would take her out for dinners and romantic walks by the river. He would come to her door with flowers, and would write her love letters. Eventually after some time passed and the couple got to know each other, the man would take the woman somewhere special and make love to her. Back in my grandmother’s time, making love – or as we now call it: having sex, was something very special. It was something significant which bonded the couple in deep intimacy and trust. Imagine that, a time when giving your body to a man was the most precious thing that a woman could do. I was thinking, wouldn’t it be nice for us to go back to the roots a bit? What if we brought back the courting, and getting to know each other phase? And brought back the romance, patience and respect along with it. Wouldn’t that make dating so much more special and meaningful for us?