Sexual arrangement: "Seeking a Sugar Daddy. On offer is her time and body. She accept expensive clothes, trips, and money as a payment". Is this the same as prostitution? The sugar relationship explored.

Freedom. This is a fundamental element in the life of any human being. For some, freedom means running around wild from party to party, not tied down by a relationship, and living for the moment. For others, freedom means to have financial independence and not worry about how to survive the next month. How one "achieves" this financial independence is what makes or breaks the person. Some get a job - which they might love or hate - but nevertheless is an honest way to earn this independence. Some might resort to a sugar daddy hunt in order to find a rich man that will take care of their every need and desire. But is that really considered as "freedom"? We all know that you don't get something for nothing, so how high of a price does a woman have to pay when having a sugar daddy?

Prostitution is known as the world's oldest profession. Ever since barter and currency have existed, so has prostitution. I have turned to the oxford dictionary for an accurate definition of prostitution: "The practice or occupation of engaging in sexual activity with someone for payment". I also looked up the definition of a sugar baby (one who has a Sugar Daddy). Since this word is a slang, I found the meaning in the urban dictionary: “A woman who provides companionship and/or sexual relations for a wealthy man in exchange for expensive gifts and/or money”. Since both definitions are very similar to each other, can it be that being a sugar baby is the same or very close to prostitution?

My acquaintance Ambrosia admitted to me last week that she had a sugar daddy. She met “Money Bags” at a club opening in Frankfurt. She caught his eye as soon as she walked in. She was there with her best friend, and he sent over a bottle of Champagne to them. He came over to say hello, and she was mesmerized by his generous gesture. He was 22 years older than her, but she didn’t mind. He was not the usual type of man that she likes, but his charm and power attracted her. She found his bossiness and arrogance very sexy. She called me the next day, and I told her that something seemed odd about his description. She ignored my warning, and started dating him. He took her on expensive holidays, bought her designer clothing, jewelry and more extravagant “things”. Money Bags liked to show Ambrosia off to his friends, as if she was expensive real estate that he purchased, renovated, and would sell quite quickly to the next buyer. A few months later, she told him that she was falling in love with him. His answer made her heart almost stop cold. He said, “Darling, what are you talking about? You know that we have an unspoken agreement that you entertain me, and in return I show you the good life. I am not looking for love or a third wife. I want fun and sex!” After this he dropped her very quickly and found an even younger sugar baby. Disgusting. Ambrosia felt cheap and used. She wanted to crawl into a dark deep hole and never come out. She told me that this scarred her for life, and she feels damaged. Even more so, this killed a part of her soul. She is not able to have a normal relationship after this horrific experience.

Ambrosia is not the only one. There is a rising trend of women looking for sugar daddies to finance their life – and this is all happening online now! Dating websites like “Seeking Millionaire”, “Seeking Arrangement” and “Carrot Dating” are making it easy for women to sell themselves on the market. Men bribe women with money, presents, shopping, trips and even plastic surgery to go on dates with them! What’s even more repulsive are the tips on WikiHow given to women to find a sugar daddy: post sensual photos of yourself, go to places where rich men hang out and sell yourself like a piece of flesh to them, and if you’re really good, you can negotiate a monthly flat fee of a few thousand Euros for your personal needs. This sounds dangerously close to prostitution and escorting. Ladies please be careful, it is not worth it. Your heart, body and soul will be stolen from you, chewed up like dry aged meat, and spit back out for the dogs to devour. This will not bring you happiness, but rather make you depressed as hell! Ambrosia told me that she was obligated to do and go where Money Bags wanted to, and have sex whenever he wanted to. He said the one that pays also commands. In my understanding, this is not the definition of freedom, but rather the meaning of slavery. And looking the other way around, don’t these sugar daddies realize that it is their wealth that attracts the females? I can't imagine it being a good feeling to know that the women greedily perceive them as a walking ATM machine! This seems like a cold, lonely and rather embarrassing existence.

Ambrosia told me to be honest with my readers. She said that the lifestyle was very appealing to her. The glamour, money, and presents were very alluring. She enjoyed having everything given to her. But it was not really “given”; she had to pay with her body, soul and pride. After he carelessly dumped her, she got a job that pays monthly what he would spend on her in one day. The difference is that this is her own honestly earned money. She values each euro that she earns nowadays. She sees how hard this money is to be made, but nevertheless she loves it, because this signifies freedom to her. She can do whatever she wants with her salary, and is her own boss now. From my experience, saving your own money every month, and eventually spoiling yourself with a beautiful bag, nice jewelry or shoes, is the best damn feeling in the world! I promise that you will adore this bag or shoes forever, because you bought it with your own hard earned money, and didn’t have to humiliate yourself with some older dude for a piece of leather.

To be honest, I think it would feel better to wear Zara and be free, than Gucci and feel like you owe him a piece of you. This is very degrading! Freedom is very precious – and loosing it for crappy designer stuff is a very high price to pay. Dignity and pride are such precious possessions – do not give them away! I also wonder if the people in these “arrangements” ever think of true love. Do they miss it? Do they even need it? Could it be that their greed for money and sex substitutes their need for real love? I do not know what goes on in the people’s heads that agree to such arrangements, but what I do know is that almost everyone wishes for true love, and that’s one thing that money can’t buy - and this can never be replaced by a girl hanging cheaply on a man’s arm and dreaming of true love… with his wallet.