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Galia Brener's Column

Tinder-licious or a waste of time?

Fast sex or true love? Everyone is talking about Tinder, but what's the real hype actually? Can you meet someone decent there, or are they only interested in what's inside your sexy red panties? Read and find out!
Tinder Tinder on the wall, who's the greatest one of all? No one bloody knows because the app is so full of people and fast that it's like speed dating on crystal meth! If you think a 2-minute dating interview is quick, then welcome to Tinder - dating at the speed of light. Click, "Nope", click "Nope", a fast “Heart” in between and 25 "Nopes" again - all in a matter of 30 seconds! However, do we really want to date faster than a Big Mac is made? Or would we like to go back to the roots and date the old-fashioned way - where people actually took the time and cared to truly get to know each other in a sincere way!

It was a warm spring evening a few weeks ago, and we were drinking Champagne underneath the starry sky in a beautiful castle garden. The wedding invitation came from my friend Cindy, who was the stunning bride, marrying a handsome tall blonde gentleman from Hamburg. A warm wind was gently blowing, the band was mesmerizing us with their music, and the food was an exotic celebration in itself. We saw Cindy rushing towards us, and the beautiful glow on her face was competing with the bright sun. "Gali Gali, I am so happy, it's the best day of my life! I'm actually marrying my prince charming, so the fairytale does exist! I can't believe we met on Tinder, can you imagine?!" At the mention of Tinder, I looked up at her with a huge smile on my face, "Ah ha! Gotcha! Cindy you told me that you were introduced to each other through friends." I had to laugh because the look on her face reminded me of a naughty little girl. "Gali, you always catch me when I least expect it! Yes we met on Tinder but don’t tell anyone please, it's embarrassing." I assured her that it's not embarrassing whatsoever. Who cares how they met as long as they are blessed with true love, that's what matters. Last week I’ve heard another Tinder success story, so I had to try it out for this article, but let me tell you, it was not all cookies and cream.

My first day I was on Tinder, I saw three boyfriends of girls that I know in Frankfurt. I was shocked beyond belief. I thought maybe the accounts were old, but it said they were online a few hours ago! The second day I spotted two husbands of women that I know as well! Unbelievable, because I thought these couples were extremely happy and hopelessly in love… surprise surprise. I wonder if these women know that their men are flirting and cheating on Tinder? Girls if you want to find out, sign up and see if your guy is there - but be careful what you look for, you might just happen to find it! Hopefully after this article the guys will be scared to get caught, leave Tinder, and stop cheating all together - my romantic wishful thinking of course.

I have come across many men that are there just for fun, and would like a quick affair. What helps is to ask right up front, "What are you looking for on Tinder?" Sometimes after a match was made, some men did not write the initial message. They expect the women to make the first contact. Really guys? No, thank you. I know we live in an age of emancipation, but I'm a bit old-fashioned, and like when the man writes me first. They are hunters so let them hunt! The “Tinder-Attention-Span” is very short - you write for half a day, and if you don't keep up the conversation, things get forgotten and the connection dies out quickly. Why? Because there are thousands of other people “available” online who are willing to do what you’re not. It's like children in a candy shop - so many options, why just choose one? Another story is that a woman ordered two men from Tinder to meet her at the same bar, at the same time, but the two guys happened to be close friends! They both showed up, said hello, laughed and walked away - the joke was on her.

I must say that I did chat with a few very nice, warm, intelligent, kind and funny men. I had interesting and deep conversations about life, relationships, adventures, career, goals and dreams. These were the ones that told me right away that they are looking for something real, and not just a quick affair. I was really impressed. However I must admit that I did not meet anyone – even though many wanted to. I’m wary of safety and don’t like to meet strangers. The conclusion of my experiment is that many people are there for fun and "games". I had to laugh because when you get a match on Tinder, they give you an option to “Send a Message” or "Keep Playing" - so yes, for some it's just a game to see how many people like them, and how many panties they can take off in one week. For those that are patient enough to keep searching through the profiles, try it for a few weeks and see what happens - you never know - you might be the lucky one to find a real diamond in the rough. My personal opinion is that Tinder is not an option to find true love, because it seems to be quite superficial - click, click, next, next. Nonetheless, it is very entertaining because it's like ordering sushi online in a restaurant you don’t know, where some of the photos look delicious. When the delivery arrives, you never know if you receive delicious food, or something that looks good on the outside, but tastes horrible when you bite it. Better ask for their Facebook profile, because some photos look much different than the few they post on Tinder. If you're bored or curious, try it out, but I wouldn’t recommend you to hope to find your true love there. Like Tinder itself says on their app - it's a "game" - so you are either a player... or the coach! ;-)
9. Mai 2014
Galia Brener
 
 
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Galia Brener am 4.6.2014, 20:02 Uhr:
Dear Brigitte, thanks for your comment. I can totally understand you. However, there are also a few nice guys there, so maybe give it a few more weeks and see - you never know ;-)
 
Brigitte Neubert am 29.5.2014, 22:12 Uhr:
Thank you for making me curious with this article!
I tried tinder now for 3 weeks and find myself actually
in the middle of a relationship-desaster!
You?re right, there are a few married men we both
know very well.
And surely a lot of guys living in relationship
having just one aim.
:-(
 
Galia Brener am 11.5.2014, 20:39 Uhr:
Mama, I could not agree with you more! The only thing is that we live in a society where everyone is very busy. So perhaps they have no time to go out and socialize after work. However I am also a believer in fate and real-life meetings. Even though a few people found love on Tinder, I do not see it as a method to find true love. The interactions are very superficial there.
 
Polina B. am 10.5.2014, 19:37 Uhr:
I think it is a pure fate which meet us with the ONE which will be your second best. It can happen everywhere, most unusual and unexpected places. But I am talking about real places, face to face, eyes to eyes. First impression (a real one) is very important. Therefore I am not believer in online dates. Agree with you, Gali. Smart article!
 
Galia Brener am 10.5.2014, 19:22 Uhr:
Thanks Steffen, but maybe it's worth for you to sign up for a week and see how it goes. I do not want to discourage anyone - maybe you will find your love there, maybe not. Go in with less expectations and see what happens. Good luck :-)
 
Steffen Schneider am 9.5.2014, 22:46 Uhr:
Perfect timing, i just want to join now. So now i must think about it . yes or no. good article Galia!
 
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